AI in Behavioral Health Is Evolving — And Sleep May Be the Missing Link

Digital mental health is entering a new era. Recaps from last month’s HLTH 2025 conference highlighted a clear shift across the industry: the focus is moving away from “AI hype” toward “AI impact.” Healthcare organizations, health tech companies, and clinical leaders are aligning around the same core message — outcomes, evidence, trust, and real-world engagement matter more than ever.

In behavioral health, this pivot feels especially relevant. AI-driven platforms are more advanced than ever, but the conversation is expanding beyond innovation for innovation’s sake. The questions shaping the future now sound different:

  • Does the tool lead to measurable clinical improvement?

  • Is it grounded in validated therapeutic models?

  • Does it keep people engaged long enough to change behavior?

And nowhere is that shift more urgent than in the realm of sleep and behavioral sleep medicine.

Why Sleep Is the Next Frontier in Digital Behavioral Health

Technology can accelerate access to care, but sleep does not improve passively. It requires new habits, new routines, and new responses to stress, fatigue, and rumination. In other words — sleep is a behavioral system, not simply a biological one.

Decades of research on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) have shown:

  • Lasting sleep improvement depends on behavioral adherence

  • Digital programs succeed when grounded in clinical fidelity

  • People need support in the moment, not just information

It’s not enough to know what improves sleep. People need tools that help them follow through — especially when motivation is low, or when insomnia triggers anxiety, frustration, or avoidance.

The next generation of digital health solutions will succeed not because they track sleep more accurately, but because they help people change behavior more effectively.

From AI Hype to AI Impact in Sleep Medicine

As digital behavioral health matures, it’s becoming clear that the most effective use of AI isn’t replacing therapy — it’s enhancing the therapeutic process:

• Personalizing behavioral recommendations based on patterns

• Predicting relapse moments before they occur

• Delivering real-time coaching during high-risk periods (late nights, early mornings, high stress)

• Supporting accountability without increasing clinical workload

AI becomes most valuable when paired with evidence-based treatment frameworks and a clear path from knowledge → engagement → adherence → outcomes.

The market is beginning to reward solutions that demonstrate:

  • Clinical validation

  • Measurable symptom reduction

  • Lower cost of care and improved access

  • Lasting changes in daily functioning, not temporary engagement spikes

Sleep stands at the center of all four.

The New Mental Health Equation Includes Sleep

For years, clinicians have emphasized what the broader healthcare system is only now beginning to adopt:

  • Sleep health is mental health

  • Sleep health is physical health

  • Sleep health is burnout prevention and workforce performance

Improving sleep has been linked to reduced anxiety and depression, improved immune function, decreased cardiometabolic risk, enhanced self-regulation, and improved cognitive performance. For employers, sleep improvement is increasingly tied to productivity, decision-making, emotional resilience, safety, and retention.

As the health tech sector looks toward scalable, cost-effective interventions, sleep emerges as one of the highest-leverage points of change across both clinical and organizational environments.

The Future of Digital Behavioral Sleep Medicine

The next wave of innovation in sleep and mental health will not be defined by:

✗ More tracking

✗ More data dashboards

✗ More generic “sleep hygiene” advice

It will be defined by:

✓ Clinical fidelity to gold-standard care like CBT-I

✓ Human-centered design that supports motivation and behavior

✓ Technology that enhances—not replaces—relational connection

✓ Demonstrated clinical outcomes, not just engagement analytics

The industry message is clear: real-world behavior change is the new benchmark of success. If the digital health space continues to invest in solutions that are clinically informed, evidence-based, and behaviorally smart, sleep has the potential to transform mental health at scale.

Trends in Digital Mental Health and Behavioral Health: What’s Changing and What It Means for Patients

The world of mental health care is undergoing a transformation. Virtual therapy, digital mental health apps, wearable technology, and skill-based online programs are reshaping the way people access care and understand their own emotional well-being. For those seeking support, these tools can create more flexibility, more personalization, and more insight than ever before.

But with rapid change also comes uncertainty. Many patients are unsure which tools are helpful, which are hype, and whether digital support can be as meaningful as in-person therapy. Understanding today’s digital mental health trends can help people make informed decisions and advocate for the type of care that feels right for them.

Why Digital Access Is Expanding — and Why It Matters

Virtual therapy has become a permanent and valuable model of care. Patients who previously struggled to make room for therapy in their lives — due to scheduling demands, commuting, childcare, health limitations, or anxiety around seeking support — now have access to treatment from wherever they are.

This shift is especially meaningful for:

  • Young adults moving to new cities or managing work stress

  • New parents balancing childcare responsibilities

  • Individuals with chronic pain, mobility challenges, or insomnia

  • People in rural or underserved areas with fewer available providers

Digital access does not dilute the therapeutic relationship. For many, it strengthens it by lowering barriers to connection and encouraging more consistent care.

Apps and Digital Programs: Reinforcing Skills, Not Replacing Therapy

There is no shortage of mental health apps, and not all are created equal — but when thoughtfully chosen, they can complement therapy in powerful ways. Behavioral health apps are especially supportive for:

  • Tracking mood, sleep, habits, triggers, and progress

  • Practicing coping strategies outside of sessions

  • Learning evidence-based skills like CBT or mindfulness

  • Increasing accountability during life transitions

Digital support works best not as a standalone solution, but as a tool that reinforces therapeutic goals.

Evidence-Based Approaches Are Becoming More Mainstream

The digital mental health movement has led to an increased focus on structured, data-driven interventions like:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)

Patients are learning earlier, even before entering therapy, that talk therapy alone is not always enough — and that targeted, skills-based approaches can create lasting change for anxiety, depression, insomnia, emotional dysregulation, and behavioral challenges.

Wearable Tech and Self-Tracking: A New Window Into Mental Health

More individuals are using wearable devices to track sleep, HRV, movement, and stress signals. While wearables are not diagnostic tools, they can:

  • Increase awareness of mind-body patterns

  • Help identify stress cycles or disrupted sleep

  • Reveal how lifestyle influences mood and energy

  • Support engagement in treatment plans

When interpreted in collaboration with a mental health professional, this data can support behavioral change without becoming overwhelming or perfectionistic.

Human Connection Remains at the Heart of Healing

While digital trends are reshaping mental health care, the core of therapy has not changed: people heal in safe, trusting relationships. Technology should expand access — not replace connection. The future of mental health is most likely hybrid: digital tools to reinforce skills, and human-to-human care to support emotional growth.

Digital mental health is not about adding more technology to daily life — it’s about using technology intentionally to make care more reachable, responsive, and personalized. Whether someone is seeking support for stress, anxiety, insomnia, life transitions, or relationship challenges, there are more pathways to treatment than ever before.

If you’re considering therapy but don’t know where to begin, reaching out can help you determine what mix of digital tools and human support is right for you.

Dark Showering for Better Sleep: A Calming Trend Backed by Science

“Dark showering” — the emerging wellness trend of showering in dim lighting or total darkness before bed — is gaining attention for its potential to improve sleep and reduce stress. While it might sound unconventional, the practice is rooted in simple physiological principles that support the body’s natural sleep rhythms.

In cities like New York, where exposure to bright lights and screens often continues late into the evening, creating darkness before bed can be a powerful cue to the brain that it’s time to unwind. Pairing this with the soothing warmth of water offers both physical and psychological relaxation, helping prepare the body for sleep.

Why Light Matters Before Bed

Light is one of the strongest signals to the brain’s internal clock. Bright, blue-toned light — from overhead fixtures, phones, or TVs — suppresses melatonin production and promotes alertness. Dimming the lights, even in the bathroom, helps the body begin its transition into nighttime mode.

A warm shower also raises the body’s core temperature slightly. As it cools afterward, that drop in temperature can enhance drowsiness and signal the body that it’s time to rest. Taken together, the combination of dim light and a warm shower mimics the body’s natural evening cues — a gentle signal that the day is over.

Why Darkness Matters for Sleep

Light exposure plays a critical role in regulating the circadian rhythm — the body’s internal clock that governs sleep and wake cycles. Bright or blue-toned light in the evening suppresses melatonin, the hormone that helps us fall asleep. Showering in the dark or with minimal lighting offers a subtle cue that it’s nighttime, preparing the brain for rest.

For individuals struggling with insomnia, this kind of environmental adjustment can be surprisingly powerful. Many people with chronic sleep difficulties unknowingly maintain habits that keep their brains alert — such as using bright lights or checking phones before bed. Reducing stimulation, particularly visual stimulation, helps the nervous system transition from a state of vigilance to one of rest.

A Soothing Routine for Mind and Body

A warm shower before bed raises the body’s temperature slightly; afterward, the natural cooling process promotes drowsiness. When combined with darkness and quiet, this physiological shift becomes even more effective.

The dim environment also supports mental decompression. Without harsh lighting or visual distractions, the mind has fewer cues to process. This can ease pre-sleep anxiety, one of the most common contributors to insomnia. In essence, a dark shower functions like a mini mindfulness exercise — allowing the body to slow down and the mind to settle.

The Link Between Insomnia and Overstimulation

Modern life, especially in urban settings, rarely allows the body to fully power down. Constant light, noise, and mental demands keep stress hormones like cortisol elevated long after the day ends. Over time, this chronic activation can contribute to difficulty falling or staying asleep.

For those prone to racing thoughts, worry, or nighttime restlessness, dark showering can act as a transitional ritual — a moment to consciously shift from daytime alertness to nighttime calm. Establishing this kind of consistent, low-stimulation routine is a core principle of behavioral treatments for insomnia, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I).

The Mental Health Benefits of a Low-Light Routine

Beyond its sleep benefits, dark showering can also provide a mindful, sensory-focused way to regulate stress. In a quiet, low-lit environment, the brain has fewer external inputs to process. This reduction in stimulation allows the nervous system to shift into a calmer state, reducing anxiety and promoting relaxation before bed.

For those who struggle with racing thoughts or nighttime restlessness, this kind of quiet, intentional ritual can serve as a bridge between the high activity of the day and the stillness of sleep.

Practical Tips for Trying Dark Showering

  • To integrate dark showering safely and effectively into a nighttime routine:

  • Take the shower about an hour before bedtime to allow for cooling afterward.

  • Turn off bright overhead lights; use a dim lamp, nightlight, or candle for soft illumination.

  • Avoid phone use or screens during and immediately after the shower.

  • Focus attention on sensory details — the sound of water, the feel of warmth, the rhythm of breathing.

  • Continue with dim lighting in the bedroom afterward to reinforce the signal for sleep.

For those who find complete darkness uncomfortable or disorienting, soft amber lighting offers similar benefits without eliminating visibility.

When to Seek Additional Support

While dark showering can support better rest, persistent insomnia or chronic nighttime anxiety may require a more structured approach. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) remains the most effective evidence-based treatment for ongoing sleep difficulties.

In a city that never seems to dim, creating moments of darkness and stillness can be deeply restorative. Dark showering offers a simple, sensory way to wind down the nervous system and signal to the body that it’s time to rest. For many, this mindful evening ritual can become an anchor — a transition from the stimulation of the day to the calm of night, supporting both better sleep and improved mental well-being.

When One Partner Can’t Sleep: How CBT-I Can Help Both of You Rest Better

Sharing a bed can symbolize comfort, love, and intimacy — but it can also become a source of tension when one person can’t sleep. Maybe your partner wakes up multiple times a night, or you lie awake listening to their restlessness. Over time, sleepless nights can create more than fatigue — they can quietly strain communication, patience, and even affection.

Insomnia affects millions of adults, and when it strikes within a shared bed, it rarely impacts just one person. That’s why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) — the gold-standard, evidence-based treatment for chronic sleep difficulties — can be so powerful not only for individuals but for couples, too.

How Insomnia Affects Relationships

Sleep deprivation alters mood, focus, and emotional regulation. For couples, this can show up as irritability, shorter tempers, and misunderstandings. A partner who can’t sleep might feel guilty for disrupting the other person, or anxious about bedtime itself. Meanwhile, the well-rested partner may feel helpless, frustrated, or resentful about the ongoing exhaustion in the relationship.

Over time, the bed — once a space of comfort and connection — becomes associated with tension, silence, or avoidance. Some couples even start sleeping in separate rooms, which can reduce physical closeness and emotional intimacy.

Insomnia, in this way, can become a quiet third presence in the relationship — one that neither partner invited, but both end up negotiating around.

Why CBT-I Works — Even When a Partner Is Involved

CBT-I is not about medication or quick fixes. It’s a structured, short-term therapy designed to retrain your brain’s relationship with sleep. Through targeted techniques, such as sleep restriction, stimulus control, relaxation training, and cognitive restructuring, CBT-I helps people replace unhelpful sleep habits with healthier patterns.

When one partner engages in CBT-I, the other partner often plays a crucial role in supporting the process. This might mean:

  • Respecting new sleep schedules even if they differ from your own.

  • Avoiding reassurance-seeking or “checking in” about sleep, which can increase pressure.

  • Creating a calm bedroom environment — adjusting light, temperature, or noise to promote rest.

  • Reframing sleep as teamwork rather than an individual struggle.

When couples navigate insomnia together, they learn not just about sleep hygiene but about communication, boundaries, and emotional support.

When Both Partners Have Sleep Difficulties

In some relationships, both partners experience sleep challenges. This might stem from stress, parenting responsibilities, inconsistent routines, or simply having mismatched circadian rhythms. In these cases, CBT-I can be tailored to address both partners’ needs — sometimes in joint sessions, or through parallel individual work.

Small shifts, such as synchronizing wake-up times, reducing screen exposure before bed, or creating separate wind-down routines, can have an outsized impact on rest quality and emotional balance.

Importantly, CBT-I goes beyond standard sleep hygiene tips. While sleep hygiene focuses on general good habits — like avoiding caffeine late in the day or limiting blue light — CBT-I addresses the deeper behavioral and cognitive patterns that perpetuate insomnia. It helps break the cycle of anxiety around sleep itself, which is often the true culprit.

Better Sleep, Stronger Connection

Restoring healthy sleep isn’t just about feeling less tired. It’s about improving mood, empathy, patience, and connection — qualities every relationship needs. When one or both partners start sleeping better, couples often find that communication improves, conflicts feel less intense, and intimacy naturally returns.

If insomnia has started to affect your relationship, it’s important to remember that help is available. CBT-I is an evidence-based, highly effective approach that can help you — and your partner — get the rest you both deserve.

Why Anxiety Feels Worse in Big Cities

Life in a big city like New York offers endless opportunities, energy, and excitement—but it can also magnify anxiety. Many of my patients report feeling constantly “on edge” in NYC, even when their personal lives feel stable. Understanding why urban living can increase anxiety is the first step toward managing it effectively.

Urban Stressors That Amplify Anxiety

City life presents unique challenges that can exacerbate stress and worry:

Constant stimulation: Bright lights, traffic, sirens, and crowds keep the nervous system in a heightened state of alert.

High demands: Long commutes, competitive workplaces, and the pressure to “keep up” can trigger chronic stress.

Overexposure to information: Smartphones and social media feed a nonstop stream of news and alerts, fueling worry and comparison.

Limited downtime: Small apartments, crowded spaces, and busy schedules can make it hard to find moments of calm.

These stressors make it easy for anxious thoughts to spiral, leading to insomnia, irritability, and difficulty focusing.

Why the Brain Reacts More Strongly in Urban Environments

Research shows that the human brain is wired to detect potential threats. In cities, the brain constantly monitors for danger—noise, traffic, and social interactions—creating a persistent “fight or flight” response. Over time, this can increase baseline anxiety and make ordinary stressors feel overwhelming.

Mental Health Consequences

Chronic urban anxiety isn’t just uncomfortable—it affects overall well-being. Some common impacts include:

  • Sleep disturbances and insomnia

  • Heightened worry and intrusive thoughts

  • Muscle tension, headaches, and other physical symptoms

  • Social withdrawal or irritability

  • Increased risk of depression or burnout

Recognizing these patterns is crucial. Anxiety isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a natural response to the unique pressures of city living.

Strategies to Manage Anxiety in NYC

While living in a big city can’t be “turned off,” there are ways to reduce anxiety and restore balance:

  • Create intentional downtime: Even 10–15 minutes of quiet, mindful breathing can lower stress levels.

  • Limit news and social media intake: Set boundaries around when and how often you check updates.

  • Prioritize sleep: Sleep loss amplifies anxiety; aim for a consistent bedtime routine.

  • Exercise regularly: Physical activity reduces tension and supports emotional regulation.

  • Seek professional support: A therapist can help identify triggers, teach coping strategies, and provide a safe space to process stress.

Finding Calm Amid the City Buzz

New York City is vibrant and exciting, but it also comes with unique stressors that can worsen anxiety. Understanding the connection between urban life and mental health empowers you to take control. Through intentional strategies and professional support, it’s possible to feel grounded, resilient, and capable of thriving—even in the city that never sleeps.

Sex and Love Addiction: Why It’s Not a Diagnosis — But Still Deeply Debilitating

In recent years, more people have begun to use the term “sex and love addiction” to describe patterns of intense attachment, compulsive relationship behaviors, and overwhelming need for connection. While it’s not recognized as an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), that doesn’t make the experience any less real or painful.

What Is Sex and Love Addiction?

At its core, sex and love addiction involves an unhealthy preoccupation with relationships, romance, or sexual encounters as a way to cope with deeper emotional pain. People struggling with these patterns often describe feeling driven — as though they need romantic intensity, validation, or sexual attention to feel okay.

When those feelings fade or relationships end, individuals can experience withdrawal-like symptoms: anxiety, emptiness, shame, or depression. They may quickly seek out new partners or experiences to fill the void, repeating the same cycle despite a desire to stop.

These behaviors are not about pleasure alone — they’re often an attempt to soothe loneliness, trauma, or self-doubt through connection.

Why It’s Not an Official Diagnosis

Although the concept of “sex and love addiction” resonates with many, it remains controversial in the mental health field. Some experts view it as a form of compulsive behavior or attachment dysregulation, rather than an addiction in the traditional sense. Others worry that labeling it as an addiction can stigmatize normal sexual or romantic expression.

What’s important to remember is that whether or not it’s formally recognized, the emotional suffering is real. People can experience deep distress, broken relationships, and a profound sense of loss of control — all hallmarks of a legitimate mental health struggle.

How It Becomes Debilitating

Sex and love addiction can impact every area of life:

Relationships: Repeated cycles of intense attachment, obsession, or heartbreak can lead to trust issues, instability, and emotional exhaustion.

Self-Esteem: Constantly seeking external validation can reinforce feelings of inadequacy and shame.

Work and Focus: Preoccupation with relationships or sexual thoughts can disrupt concentration and productivity.

Mental Health: Many individuals experience overlapping symptoms of depression, anxiety, or trauma.

For some, these patterns begin early in life — especially if emotional needs were inconsistently met, or if love was linked with chaos or abandonment. Over time, the brain learns to associate emotional relief with romantic intensity or sexual connection, making the behavior harder to break.

Healing from Compulsive Relationship Patterns

Recovery starts with understanding that the problem isn’t “too much love” — it’s seeking love in ways that cause harm. Therapy can help you:

  • Recognize the emotional triggers behind these patterns

  • Build tolerance for healthy intimacy and emotional vulnerability

  • Develop boundaries that protect your well-being

  • Heal from underlying trauma or attachment wounds

Many people find psychodynamic therapy, trauma-informed care, or group therapy especially helpful. Treatment focuses not on shaming desire, but on understanding how it became a coping strategy — and learning how to connect more authentically.

Moving Toward Healthy Connection

Sex and love addiction may not appear in the DSM, but the pain it causes is undeniable. The goal of therapy isn’t to eliminate desire or romance — it’s to create a relationship with love that’s grounded, reciprocal, and sustainable.

If you find yourself repeating painful patterns in relationships or struggling to let go, reaching out for help is a powerful first step. Healing doesn’t mean giving up on love — it means learning how to love in a way that supports your emotional health.

Why Women Need More Sleep — And How to Get It

In a city that never sleeps, it’s easy to forget that our bodies were never designed to run on empty. For many women in New York City, sleep is often the first thing sacrificed to keep up with demanding careers, relationships, caregiving, and the general pace of urban life. But research consistently shows that women actually need more sleep than men, and when they don’t get it, both mental and physical health can suffer.

The Hidden Sleep Debt of Women

Women are biologically and psychologically more vulnerable to disrupted sleep. Hormonal changes across the lifespan—menstrual cycles, pregnancy, postpartum shifts, and perimenopause—can all interfere with the body’s natural sleep rhythm. For example, fluctuating levels of estrogen and progesterone can increase body temperature, heighten sensitivity to stress, and lead to more nighttime awakenings.

Many women also carry a heavier emotional and cognitive load. They may manage family logistics, caregiving responsibilities, and professional demands simultaneously. This “mental load” means women’s brains are often still processing, planning, and problem-solving long after they’ve gone to bed. The result? Difficulty falling asleep, restless nights, and waking up unrefreshed.

Sleep and Mental Health

Sleep is one of the most powerful regulators of mood and resilience. Yet, insomnia is closely linked to anxiety, depression, and emotional exhaustion, all of which disproportionately affect women. Poor sleep can amplify emotional sensitivity and stress reactivity, while ongoing stress can, in turn, make sleep even more elusive—a frustrating feedback loop.

Women often describe feeling “tired but wired”—exhausted during the day but unable to relax at night. This experience is especially common among women in high-stress environments like NYC, where work-life boundaries are blurred, and the expectation to stay “on” is constant. Over time, chronic sleep deprivation can erode self-esteem, decision-making, and even physical health, contributing to issues like heart disease, weight gain, and weakened immunity.

Why Sleep Hygiene Isn’t Enough

It’s common to hear advice about “sleep hygiene”—avoiding caffeine, limiting screens before bed, or sticking to a bedtime routine. While these strategies are helpful, they’re often not enough for those experiencing chronic insomnia.

For lasting results, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) is the gold standard, evidence-based treatment. Unlike sleep hygiene, CBT-I addresses the underlying psychological and behavioral patterns that keep insomnia going—such as racing thoughts, anxiety about sleep, and irregular sleep schedules. It helps retrain your brain to associate bedtime with rest, not frustration. Many people notice significant improvements in just a few weeks.

The New York City Factor

Sleep challenges in NYC are unique. Noise, light pollution, long commutes, demanding work hours, and a culture that glorifies busyness all contribute to poor sleep. Many women feel guilty resting, as if productivity and self-worth are one and the same. But rest is not indulgent—it’s essential.

In therapy, I often see women who’ve pushed through exhaustion for years, believing fatigue is “just part of life.” Once they begin prioritizing sleep, they notice dramatic changes: improved mood, sharper focus, better relationships, and more energy to pursue what truly matters. Sleep becomes not just recovery—but empowerment.

Finding Support

If you’re struggling with sleep, know that it’s not a personal failure or a lack of willpower. Chronic insomnia is treatable, and help is available. Working with a sleep psychologist in New York City can help you uncover the root causes—whether hormonal, behavioral, or emotional—and build healthy sleep habits that last.

CBT-I and other evidence-based interventions can help you regain control of your nights and feel more like yourself again.

You deserve deep, restorative rest. In a city that never sleeps, make sure you do.

Living in the Age of Anxiety: Why So Many Americans Feel On Edge

It’s no secret—anxiety is on the rise. Across the country, more people report feeling restless, worried, and unable to turn their minds off at night. What used to feel like occasional stress now lingers as a constant hum in the background of daily life.

Why is this happening? And more importantly—what can we do about it?

Why Anxiety Feels So Unrelenting

Modern life places demands on our minds and bodies in ways that past generations didn’t face. Some of the biggest contributors include:

Uncertainty everywhere. Political divisions, economic instability, and world events can leave us feeling like the ground is constantly shifting.

Always “on.” Smartphones and social media mean we rarely get true downtime. The constant flood of information—much of it negative—keeps our nervous system activated.

Financial pressures. Rising costs, student loans, housing instability—these are daily stressors that don’t just go away when we close our eyes at night.

Cultural expectations. There’s pressure to achieve, stay productive, and project an image of having it all together. That pressure often leaves us feeling “never enough.”

The result? For many, anxiety isn’t a passing worry anymore—it’s a daily state of being.

How Anxiety Affects Both Mind and Body

Anxiety doesn’t only live in our thoughts. It shows up in our bodies too. People experiencing chronic anxiety often report:

  • Racing thoughts and difficulty focusing

  • Sleep problems—trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking too early

  • Physical tension in the neck, shoulders, or stomach

  • Headaches, digestive issues, or a sense of constant restlessness

Left unchecked, these symptoms can wear us down, creating a cycle where worry fuels physical stress and physical stress fuels more worry.

Why Therapy Helps Break the Cycle

When anxiety becomes part of daily life, therapy offers both relief and long-term skills. A therapist can help you:

  • Understand what triggers your anxiety and why it lingers

  • Learn evidence-based techniques to quiet racing thoughts and reduce avoidance

  • Improve sleep and restore your body’s ability to reset

  • Reframe unhelpful patterns of thinking and find new ways to cope with uncertainty

  • Rebuild confidence in your ability to handle life’s challenges

  • Anxiety thrives in isolation. Having a safe space to process what you’re feeling and to learn new strategies is often the first step toward lasting change.

Small Steps You Can Try Today

While therapy provides the strongest foundation for recovery, there are steps you can start right now:

  • Set boundaries with news and social media. Check at scheduled times instead of staying plugged in all day.

  • Practice short pauses. Even two minutes of slow, intentional breathing can reset your stress response.

  • Protect your sleep. A consistent bedtime routine helps lower nighttime anxiety.

  • Move your body. Gentle activity like walking or stretching can ease both physical and mental tension.

  • Stay connected. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist reduces the sense of carrying anxiety alone.

Finding Calm in an Anxious World

It’s easy to feel like everyone is anxious right now—and in many ways, that’s true. But you don’t have to live in a constant state of worry. With the right support and strategies, it’s possible to break free from the cycle of anxiety and reclaim a sense of calm.

If anxiety has started to shape your daily life, reaching out for help may be one of the most important steps you take toward your mental health and well-being.

Neck Pain and Sleep: How to Wake Up Rested and Protect Your Mental Health

Waking up with neck pain is frustrating—and surprisingly common. For many people, neck pain and poor sleep go hand-in-hand, leaving them groggy, tense, and struggling through the day. If you’re tossing and turning at night, waking up sore, or feeling anxious about sleep, it may be time to look at both your sleep setup and your mental health.

As a sleep psychologist, I often see how physical discomfort like neck pain interacts with insomnia, anxiety, and stress. The good news: with the right strategies, you can improve your sleep, reduce morning stiffness, and feel more refreshed.

Why Neck Pain Disrupts Sleep

Understanding the root causes of neck pain during sleep can help you address them:

Poor pillow height or firmness: A pillow that’s too high or too flat forces the neck out of alignment.

Unsupported posture: Stomach sleeping or twisting your neck overnight puts strain on muscles.

Mattress problems: A mattress that doesn’t support spinal alignment can worsen pressure points.

Muscle tension and stress: Anxiety, depression, or daily stress can create physical tension that intensifies while you sleep.

Daily posture: Hours of hunching over laptops or phones can “pre-load” neck strain before bedtime.

The Mental Health Connection: Neck Pain, Anxiety, and Insomnia

Neck pain is more than a physical issue—it can deeply affect your mental health. Poor sleep worsens anxiety, depression, and stress, while emotional stress increases muscle tension, fueling more pain. This cycle of neck pain, mental health struggles, and insomnia is common but often overlooked.

Working with a sleep psychologist can help you break this cycle by addressing both the physical and psychological contributors to sleep disruption.

How to Improve Sleep and Reduce Neck Pain

If you’re struggling with neck pain and poor sleep, try these evidence-based strategies:

1. Choose the Right Pillow

  • Side sleepers often need a firmer, thicker pillow.

  • Back sleepers usually benefit from a medium loft.

  • Stomach sleeping is hardest on the neck—if you can, transition to your side or back.

2. Check Your Mattress and Bed Setup

A supportive mattress helps keep your head, neck, and spine in a neutral line. If your mattress is too soft or too firm, it may be time to reevaluate.

3. Practice Better Sleep Posture

Good posture doesn’t end at your desk—it matters at night too. Avoid positions that crane or twist your neck.

4. Stretch and Relax Before Bed

Gentle stretches for your neck and shoulders can release built-up tension. Pair this with a calming bedtime routine—deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness—to improve both body comfort and mental calm.

5. Address Stress and Mental Health

If stress and anxiety are keeping you up, your neck pain may not fully improve until you address these issues. Cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) and stress-reduction techniques are highly effective at restoring better sleep.

When to Seek Professional Support

If you’ve adjusted your pillow, mattress, and routine but still wake up with pain—or if your sleep problems are affecting your mental health—consider working with a sleep psychologist or behavioral sleep medicine specialist. Professional guidance can help you:

  • Manage the cycle of pain, stress, and insomnia.

  • Learn strategies for better sleep that go beyond basic sleep hygiene.

  • Address the mental health aspects of sleep disruption, such as anxiety and depression.

  • Waking up with neck pain doesn’t have to define your nights—or your days. By combining physical adjustments with mental health support, you can protect your neck, improve your sleep, and strengthen your overall well-being.

If you’ve been struggling with neck pain and sleep issues, start small: try adjusting your pillow, practicing relaxation techniques, or reaching out for professional support. Better sleep and better mornings are possible.

Surviving and Thriving in the Age of Artificial Intelligence

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is no longer just a futuristic concept—it’s woven into the fabric of our daily lives. From predictive text on our phones to streaming recommendations and virtual assistants, AI shapes the way we think, work, and interact. These advances offer incredible possibilities, but they also raise important questions: How do we preserve our humanity in a world where machines can mimic so many of our abilities? How do we adapt without losing ourselves?

The answer lies in remembering that while AI is powerful, it cannot replicate what makes us human: creativity, empathy, resilience, and meaning-making. Learning to nurture these qualities can help us not only survive the rise of AI but thrive within it.

The Double-Edged Sword of AI

There’s no denying that AI brings remarkable benefits. It can help us solve problems more quickly, streamline daily tasks, and even inspire new ideas. But there’s a trade-off. When we lean too heavily on machines to think, decide, or even create for us, we risk what some call “cognitive debt.” This is the subtle erosion of our ability to reflect deeply, solve problems independently, and stay mentally agile.

Over time, outsourcing too much of our thinking can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves and others. Instead of building resilience and self-trust, we may grow more dependent on tools that can never fully understand the richness of human experience.

Cultivating Human Strengths in an AI World

If AI is here to stay—and it is—the best way forward is to focus on strengthening the qualities that set us apart. These human-centered skills and capacities are more important now than ever:

Emotional intelligence: The ability to recognize, understand, and respond to emotions—our own and others’. While AI can analyze data, it cannot offer genuine empathy or comfort in moments of vulnerability.

Creativity: Machines can generate patterns, but true creativity—the spark of originality, humor, and imagination—is uniquely human. Creativity allows us to innovate, tell stories, and connect ideas in ways AI cannot predict.

Meaning-making: Humans are wired to seek purpose. Unlike algorithms, we wonder about values, morality, and identity. This pursuit of meaning is what helps us feel grounded, even in uncertain times.

Resilience: Life is full of change, and adapting to it is essential. Resilience helps us navigate challenges, learn from setbacks, and grow stronger. AI may simulate solutions, but it cannot teach us how to endure and transform through lived experience.

Practical Ways to Thrive Alongside AI

Learning to thrive in the age of AI doesn’t mean rejecting technology—it means engaging with it thoughtfully and intentionally. Here are a few practices that can help:

Stay curious and engaged: Use AI as a tool to spark ideas, but don’t let it replace your own creativity or problem-solving. Challenge yourself to think critically and explore perspectives beyond what algorithms provide.

Carve out time for reflection: Journaling, meditation, or therapy can help you stay connected to your inner life. These practices build awareness and ensure you’re shaping your own values and decisions.

Invest in relationships: Human connection is irreplaceable. Spending quality time with friends, family, and community builds resilience and provides the emotional nourishment no machine can replicate.

Embrace resilience-building challenges: Whether it’s learning a new skill, adapting to a career change, or managing uncertainty, choose to see challenges as opportunities to grow.

Looking Ahead

The age of AI is only beginning, and the pace of change can feel overwhelming. But we don’t need to approach it with fear. By focusing on our distinctly human strengths—emotional intelligence, creativity, resilience, and meaning—we can navigate this technological revolution with balance and confidence.

Surviving in the age of AI is about adaptation. Thriving in it is about remembering what makes us human and choosing to cultivate those qualities, no matter how sophisticated machines become.

Perimenopause Anxiety: How Hormonal Changes Affect Emotional Health

Perimenopause—the transitional stage before menopause—brings a wide range of changes to women’s health. While hot flashes and irregular cycles are commonly recognized, one lesser-discussed but significant symptom is perimenopause anxiety. Many women report new or heightened anxiety during this stage, even if they’ve never experienced it before.

Why Does Anxiety Increase During Perimenopause?

One of the main drivers of hormonal anxiety is the fluctuation and decline of estrogen and progesterone. These hormones directly impact brain chemistry, especially neurotransmitters like serotonin and GABA that help regulate mood, sleep, and calmness. When levels shift, women may feel more on edge or reactive.

At the same time, perimenopause often overlaps with major life transitions—raising teenagers, launching children into adulthood, advancing in careers, or caring for aging parents. These stressors compound the physical changes, making perimenopause symptoms like anxiety even more pronounced.

Common Symptoms of Perimenopausal Anxiety

Anxiety during perimenopause can present in different ways. Some women experience sudden panic attacks, while others notice a constant hum of worry. Common signs include:

  • Persistent or racing thoughts

  • Restlessness or feeling “on edge”

  • Trouble falling or staying asleep

  • Increased irritability

  • Physical symptoms like a racing heart, stomach upset, or muscle tension

Because these overlap with other perimenopause symptoms—such as sleep disturbances from night sweats—it can be easy to miss the underlying anxiety.

Effective Strategies to Manage Perimenopausal Anxiety

The good news is that perimenopause anxiety is highly treatable. Support can come from several approaches:

Lifestyle strategies: Regular physical activity, balanced nutrition, reducing caffeine and alcohol, and improving sleep routines can help stabilize mood.

Stress management techniques: Mindfulness, meditation, breathing practices, and yoga can calm the nervous system and reduce physical tension.

Therapy for anxiety: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and other evidence-based treatments teach practical tools to manage worry and improve emotional resilience.

Medical support: For some women, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or non-hormonal medications can help regulate both physical and emotional symptoms. Consulting a healthcare provider can clarify the best options.

Moving Forward

Perimenopause is a natural life transition, but anxiety doesn’t have to define it. Recognizing the connection between hormonal shifts and emotional health can help women seek the right support. With professional guidance, lifestyle adjustments, and compassionate care, it’s possible to move through perimenopause with greater balance and peace of mind.

Welcoming the Next Generation of Therapists: Introducing Sophia to Our Practice

I am delighted to introduce Sophia, a doctoral-level psychology trainee who is now available for virtual therapy sessions at my practice. Sophia offers a unique opportunity for patients to access reduced-fee therapy while receiving high-quality care under my direct supervision and guidance.

At just 23, Sophia is already enrolled in a doctoral program in psychology after graduating from the University of Pennsylvania. She brings energy, warmth, and empathy, as well as a fresh perspective that resonates with young adults who may be moving to new cities, starting careers, or navigating life transitions.

In my own work, I specialize in sleep and anxiety treatment. However, I often hear from younger patients who are seeking therapy for adjustment challenges, relationship concerns, and general stressors of adulthood. Rather than turn them away, I wanted to expand my practice to meet this important need. Sophia allows us to do exactly that—she provides meaningful support for individuals at this stage of life, while benefiting from close supervision to ensure clinical excellence.

Why having a younger therapist can be a strength: Many patients find that working with a younger clinician feels relatable and validating. Sophia understands the pressures of emerging adulthood firsthand, making it easier for patients to feel understood and supported. At the same time, patients can feel confident knowing her work is guided by evidence-based practices and careful supervision.

Sophia is currently accepting new patients for virtual sessions at a reduced fee. This is an excellent option for those seeking affordable, accessible therapy with a provider who is committed, compassionate, and backed by experienced mentorship.

If you or someone you know is looking for therapy to manage stress, build confidence, or navigate the challenges of life transitions, Sophia may be the right fit.

Why We Overlook CBT-I—and Why Life Transitions Often Trigger Sleepless Nights

Insomnia is one of the most common sleep disorders, yet it is often misunderstood. Many people assume sleepless nights are simply the result of stress or a busy mind, but insomnia can appear suddenly, especially during life transitions, and quickly become chronic.

Despite its prevalence, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)—the gold-standard, evidence-based treatment—is often overlooked in favor of generic sleep hygiene tips or short-term medications.

Life Transitions and Insomnia

Insomnia often emerges during periods of change, both positive and negative. Common triggers include:

  • Major life events: moving, starting a new job, retirement, or divorce

  • Health changes: chronic pain, illness, or surgery

  • Emotional stressors: grief, caregiving, financial strain

  • Exciting transitions: marriage, parenthood, or career promotions

Even happy changes can create heightened arousal and racing thoughts that disrupt sleep. What begins as temporary sleep loss can develop into persistent insomnia if unaddressed.

Sleep Hygiene vs CBT-I

Many people first try sleep hygiene, which includes:

  • Limiting caffeine and alcohol before bed

  • Avoiding screens in the bedroom

  • Maintaining a cool, dark sleep environment

  • Keeping a consistent sleep schedule

While these strategies are helpful, sleep hygiene alone rarely resolves chronic insomnia. It addresses lifestyle factors but does not change the learned patterns of wakefulness or anxious thoughts that perpetuate insomnia.

CBT-I, in contrast, is a structured, evidence-based therapy designed to retrain both mind and body. It goes beyond environmental tweaks to target the root causes of insomnia:

  • Sleep restriction: Limiting time in bed to match actual sleep, then gradually expanding as sleep efficiency improves

  • Stimulus control: Strengthening the association between bed and sleep by leaving the bedroom if unable to fall asleep

  • Cognitive restructuring: Addressing anxious or racing thoughts about sleep

  • Relaxation and mindfulness: Teaching the body to wind down naturally

Unlike sleep hygiene or medication, CBT-I produces lasting improvements and reduces the risk of relapse.

Why CBT-I Is Overlooked

Despite strong evidence, CBT-I remains underutilized:

  • Low awareness: Many patients—and some providers—don’t know CBT-I exists

  • Access barriers: Few clinicians are trained in CBT-I, creating long waitlists

  • Quick-fix culture: People often prefer medications, which offer immediate but short-term relief

  • Misconceptions: Patients may believe sleep hygiene alone is enough, not realizing CBT-I is a separate, more effective therapy

Steps to Address Insomnia

If you’re struggling with sleepless nights, especially after a life transition:

  1. Recognize the difference: Sleep hygiene supports healthy sleep habits; CBT-I treats chronic insomnia.

  2. Maintain consistent wake times: Even after a poor night, getting up at the same time helps reset your body clock.

  3. Limit time in bed awake: Leave the bedroom if unable to sleep for 15–20 minutes and engage in a calming activity.

  4. Seek specialized help: Look for therapists trained in CBT-I or evidence-based digital programs.

Moving Forward

Sleep is foundational for mental and physical health. While sleep hygiene is useful, it is not a cure for chronic insomnia. CBT-I is the most effective, evidence-based approach, helping you restore restorative sleep, regulate mood, and build resilience during life transitions.

Stronger Every Decade: What Seniors’ Powerlifting Teaches Us About Aging Well

When we think about aging healthfully, the conversation often centers on diet, slowing down, or managing chronic conditions. But what if the secret to thriving later in life is less about slowing and more about lifting?

A gym outside Detroit, featured recently in the New York Times, is championing exactly that: showing how serious barbell training for people in their 60s, 70s, 80s—and beyond—is not only possible, but transformative.

Aging Meets Strength: Shifting the Narrative

At Greysteel Strength and Conditioning, older adults powerlift with purpose. It’s not just about building muscle—it’s a way to reclaim autonomy, improve mood, sharpen cognition, and stave off age-related decline. When someone in their 80s deadlifts impressive weights, it becomes more than a physical feat—it’s a statement about resilience in any stage of life.

Why Lifting Matters For Body and Mind

Physical strength plays a vital role in mental health, especially as we grow older:

  • Empowerment and Identity: Mastering strength challenges builds confidence. Each lift is a reminder that growth is still possible, regardless of age.

  • Brain-Body Connection: Resistance training enhances not just muscle tone, but cognitive clarity, memory, and stress regulation.

  • Emotional Resilience: Pushing physical boundaries can also help confront mental ones—providing a sense of mastery that spills into daily life.

  • Community and Purpose: The gym environment—rooted in encouragement and mutual support—is a powerful antidote to social isolation.

Clinical Insights: Encouraging Strength in Aging Clients

How can psychologists and health professionals integrate the lessons from gyms like Greysteel into meaningful support?

  1. Reframe strength as lifelong. Don’t see aging clients as fragile—see them as capable. Encourage physical routines that challenge them, not just preserve them.

  2. Think physical, not just psychological. Strong movement can be healing. Explore partnerships with trainers or recommending strength work as part of holistic mental health care.

  3. Use strength as symbolic therapy. Each weight lifted can mirror emotional resilience. Frame physical progress as a visible metaphor for inner growth.

  4. Foster community-based strength. Aging clients often benefit from more than one-on-one therapy. Group movement programs—where camaraderie and purpose meet—can change lives.

Powerlifting isn’t just for bodybuilders. For many older adults, lifting is a tool for reclaiming health, independence, joy—and mental well-being.

If you work with older clients—or have aging loved ones—consider how strength training can be a pillar of mental wellness. In a world that sometimes sees aging as decline, these lifters remind us: growth can happen at any age with the right support, community, and a barbell within reach.

Psychology at a Crossroads: The Future of the Field Amid Funding and Policy Shifts

The field of psychology is facing one of its most uncertain chapters in recent history. Federal funding cuts, shifting policies, and disruptions in research support are creating ripple effects that reach from university labs to community clinics. While the challenges are serious, they also raise important questions: how will psychology adapt, and what kind of future do we want to build for the profession?

The Impact of Shrinking Support

Psychology has always relied on federal and institutional support to sustain research, training, and clinical services. Recent reductions threaten not only the progress of scientific discovery but also the infrastructure that makes training the next generation possible. Without stable funding, labs close, clinical internships disappear, and communities lose vital resources. These cuts don’t just affect researchers—they impact patients, students, and the broader public.

A Shifting Policy Landscape

Policy decisions around mental health and behavioral science have wide-reaching consequences. Reductions in prevention, treatment, and education funding risk deepening the mental health crisis, particularly in underserved communities. At the same time, questions around which areas of psychology are prioritized—or sidelined—will shape what kinds of knowledge and care are available in the future.

The Future of Psychology: Challenges and Opportunities

Despite the uncertainty, psychology has always demonstrated resilience. These disruptions may serve as a call to reimagine how the field is sustained and practiced. Some possible directions include:

Diversifying Funding Sources: Building partnerships with private organizations, nonprofits, and local initiatives could reduce dependence on federal support.

Strengthening Advocacy: Psychologists may need to become more active in policy discussions to ensure that mental health and behavioral science remain national priorities.

Expanding Access Through Innovation: Technology, telehealth, and creative training models could help reach more people even with fewer traditional resources.

Investing in Resilience: Just as we help individuals develop coping skills, the field itself can cultivate resilience by preparing for funding shifts and creating adaptable systems of care and research.

Why This Moment Matters

The future of psychology will be determined not only by budget lines and policy decisions but by how the field responds to them. Will psychology find new ways to thrive, innovate, and advocate for its essential role in society? Or will the erosion of support weaken its ability to serve the public?

This moment is a crossroads. The choices made now—by researchers, practitioners, institutions, and policymakers—will shape not just the profession’s trajectory, but the health and well-being of communities for decades to come.

How Travel Can Unlock Your Creative Potential

Travel is often seen as a chance to get away from the daily grind, but it’s so much more than just a break. It can actually be a powerful catalyst for boosting creativity and inspiring fresh ideas. When you step outside your usual surroundings and immerse yourself in new environments, your brain is invited to think in different ways, opening up pathways to innovation and insight.

Why Changing Your Environment Matters

Our brains naturally rely on routines and patterns to function efficiently. While this helps us manage day-to-day tasks, it can also limit our thinking, making it harder to come up with novel solutions or creative breakthroughs. Traveling disrupts these patterns by exposing you to a flood of unfamiliar stimuli—new landscapes, sounds, smells, and social interactions—that demand your brain’s full attention.

This disruption helps increase cognitive flexibility, a key ingredient in creative thinking. By adapting to new surroundings and ways of life, your brain strengthens its ability to connect seemingly unrelated ideas and solve problems in fresh, inventive ways.

The Power of Novelty and Dopamine

One of the reasons travel boosts creativity lies in the brain’s response to novelty. Encountering something new—whether it’s an exotic food, an unfamiliar tradition, or a different architectural style—activates the release of dopamine. This neurotransmitter is often called the brain’s “reward chemical” because it enhances pleasure, motivation, and learning.

When dopamine levels rise, your brain becomes more engaged and receptive to new ideas. This heightened state encourages curiosity and playfulness, which are essential for creative exploration and expression.

Learning From Different Cultures

Travel also provides a unique opportunity to experience diverse cultures firsthand. Meeting people with different values, beliefs, and ways of solving problems expands your own perspective. These cultural exchanges challenge assumptions and introduce alternative approaches to everyday challenges.

By integrating these new viewpoints, you enrich your creative repertoire. Whether you’re working on a project, tackling a work challenge, or pursuing a hobby, the insights gained from other cultures can lead to innovative thinking and fresh solutions.

Tips to Maximize Travel’s Creative Benefits

  • Observe with curiosity. Make a habit of noticing details—whether it’s the way light falls on a building, local gestures, or street art. These small observations can serve as seeds for creative ideas later.

  • Keep a travel journal or sketchbook. Writing or drawing your impressions helps deepen your experience and solidify creative inspiration.

  • Try new things. Engage in activities outside your comfort zone, like learning a local craft, tasting unfamiliar dishes, or exploring off-the-beaten-path locations. Novel experiences stretch your brain and promote creativity.

  • Connect meaningfully. Conversations with locals or fellow travelers can provide insights and stories that spark new ideas.

Bringing the Spark Home

You don’t have to travel far or long to reap creative rewards. Even exploring a new part of your city or taking a short trip can shake up your routine and inspire your mind. The key is to maintain the mindset of openness and curiosity.

Once home, try to hold onto the sense of wonder and perspective that travel cultivates. Use it as a springboard for creative projects, problem-solving, or simply seeing your everyday world in a new light.

Creativity is a skill that thrives on novelty, flexibility, and diverse experiences. Travel naturally provides these elements by immersing you in unfamiliar environments and cultures, pushing your brain to adapt and innovate.

So next time you plan a getaway, remember it’s not just about the destination—it’s about giving your mind the chance to grow, change, and create in exciting new ways.

When Positivity Becomes a Disguise for Avoidance: Why “Staying Upbeat” Isn’t Always the Healthiest Response

We’ve all heard it—“Just think positive!” or “Good vibes only.” On the surface, it sounds encouraging. Who wouldn’t want to stay optimistic in hard times?

But when positivity becomes the only acceptable emotion, it stops being helpful and starts becoming a subtle form of emotional avoidance. Underneath the pressure to “stay positive” is often a discomfort with pain, vulnerability, and the messiness of being human.

The Fine Line Between Hope and Denial

1. Emotions don’t disappear just because we ignore them
Shoving aside anger, sadness, or fear in the name of positivity doesn’t make those feelings go away—it just drives them underground. And what we push down often finds other ways to come out, like anxiety, burnout, or numbness.

2. Toxic positivity disconnects us from ourselves and others
When we deny or minimize our own struggles, we end up feeling alone. When we do it to others—by saying things like “at least…” or “everything happens for a reason”—we may unintentionally shut down real conversations and make people feel unseen.

3. Reframing too quickly can shut down growth
Emotions like grief, anger, or disappointment often carry important information about what we care about, what we’ve lost, or what needs to change. If we rush to find a silver lining, we miss the chance to learn from them.

Learning to Stay Present With Discomfort

Emotional honesty is not the same as negativity.
Being real about what you’re feeling doesn’t mean you’re “being negative”—it means you’re being human. Allowing space for difficult emotions is a key part of emotional health.

Validation first, optimism second.
Before offering a reframe, try simply naming the feeling: “That’s hard,” or “You’re carrying a lot right now.” From there, genuine encouragement becomes possible—because it’s built on understanding, not avoidance.

Your feelings don’t need to be fixed.
Some emotions aren’t meant to be “solved.” They’re meant to be moved through—slowly, with compassion and support. When you stop resisting them, they often lose their intensity on their own.

Signs That Positivity May Be Masking Avoidance

  • You feel guilty or ashamed when you’re not “happy enough.”

  • You struggle to open up about hard things because you don’t want to bring others down.

  • You find yourself brushing off others’ pain with advice or platitudes.

  • You feel emotionally exhausted from pretending everything is fine.

A Healthier Approach to Resilience

True resilience isn’t about avoiding discomfort—it’s about facing it, understanding it, and responding with intention. Positivity can absolutely be part of that process. But it should never come at the cost of honesty or emotional depth.

Being real and being hopeful can coexist.
In fact, the most grounded kind of hope comes from fully acknowledging what’s hard—and choosing to move forward anyway.

We all want to feel better. But the path to healing often begins with feeling fully—whatever that looks like in the moment. If you notice yourself hiding behind positivity, ask: What am I avoiding right now? What might happen if I allowed this feeling, just for a moment?

It’s not about staying stuck in pain. It’s about not skipping the steps that help you move through it.

Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do isn’t to “stay positive”—
It’s to be honest about what hurts, and stay present with yourself anyway.

Building Neuro-Resilience: How to Strengthen Your Brain’s Ability to Bounce Back

When we talk about resilience, we often picture emotional toughness or bouncing back after a hard time. But what’s happening in the brain when we recover from stress or adapt to change?

That’s where the concept of neuro-resilience comes in.

Neuro-resilience refers to the brain’s ability to adapt, rewire, and recover in response to stress, setbacks, and emotional challenges. It’s rooted in the science of neuroplasticity, or the brain’s natural ability to grow and change throughout life.

This means that resilience isn’t something we either have or don’t—it’s something we can build.

Why Neuro-Resilience Matters

Stress is a normal part of life. But when we experience chronic stress—whether from work, caregiving, trauma, or major transitions—our nervous system can get stuck in “survival mode.”

Over time, this can lead to:

  • Trouble concentrating

  • Difficulty managing emotions

  • Sleep issues

  • Increased anxiety or burnout

  • Feeling overwhelmed by small stressors

Neuro-resilience helps us move out of that chronic stress loop. It supports emotional flexibility, quicker recovery from setbacks, and an overall sense of mental well-being. And the good news? It’s not reserved for a select few. Anyone can develop it—regardless of age, background, or current stress level.

Four Core Practices That Build Neuro-Resilience

1. Strengthen Social Connection

We are wired for connection. Regular, meaningful interaction with people we trust helps regulate our nervous system. Even brief moments of warmth—like a kind text, a supportive conversation, or a shared laugh—can buffer the brain against stress.

Social support literally strengthens the neural networks involved in empathy, safety, and emotional regulation.

2. Reduce Chronic Stress

Stress in short bursts can be motivating. But ongoing stress without recovery breaks the brain down. Elevated cortisol levels over time shrink areas like the hippocampus (involved in memory) and increase reactivity in the amygdala (involved in fear and threat).

Practices like:

  • Deep breathing

  • Meditation

  • Walking in nature

  • Journaling

  • Limiting screen time

…can help bring your nervous system back into balance. These aren’t luxuries—they’re essential maintenance for a healthy, resilient brain.

3. Practice New Patterns on Purpose

Your brain adapts to what you do most. Repeated thoughts, habits, and emotional reactions form strong neural pathways. If you’re used to spiraling into self-doubt or reacting with frustration, those circuits get reinforced.

But the reverse is also true: every time you choose a new response—even a small one—you’re rewiring your brain. That’s how neuroplasticity works.

Simple ways to build new patterns:

  • Practice positive self-talk

  • Try a new hobby or skill

  • Reflect on what went well each day

  • Set small goals and celebrate progress

4. Tap Into Positive Emotion

You don’t need to be upbeat all the time to build resilience—but regular moments of joy, gratitude, hope, or humor give your brain a boost. Positive emotions help expand your mental bandwidth and reduce the brain’s focus on threat and negativity.

Try:

  • Keeping a gratitude list

  • Watching or listening to something that makes you laugh

  • Spending time in a space that brings you peace

  • Savoring small pleasures without rushing through them

These emotional “microdoses” are like reps at the gym for your brain’s resilience muscles.

Everyday Habits That Support Neuro-Resilience

You don’t need to overhaul your life. Small, consistent changes make a difference.
Here are a few habits to try building into your week:

  • Connect: Reach out to someone you care about, even for 5 minutes.

  • Move: Take a walk without your phone. Let your mind wander.

  • Pause: Practice 60 seconds of deep breathing during transitions in your day.

  • Play: Do something that’s just for fun, not productivity.

  • Reflect: Ask yourself, “What helped me feel grounded today?”

Your brain is not fixed—it’s flexible, resilient, and always changing.

Neuro-resilience isn’t about avoiding stress altogether. It’s about training your brain to recover, adapt, and stay grounded even when things feel hard. The more we practice, the easier it becomes to bounce back—not by chance, but by design.

The truth is, your brain wants to heal. And every small act of care, connection, and calm strengthens that process.

So be gentle with yourself. Start where you are. And remember: resilience isn’t something you earn—it’s something you build, one choice at a time.

Why People Should Expect Relationship Changes After Weight Loss

When embarking on a weight loss journey, many people focus on the obvious goals: improved physical health, increased confidence, more energy, and a better relationship with their bodies. These are meaningful and worthy pursuits. But one aspect often overlooked—yet deeply impactful—is the shift that can happen in relationships as your body and habits begin to change.

Weight loss doesn't just change you—it often changes how people relate to you. And that can bring both growth and tension.

The Social Shift: More Than Just Physical Changes

The physical benefits of weight loss are often the most celebrated. But beneath the surface, changes in how you’re seen, treated, and related to can ripple across your social world.

1. Changing Dynamics with Friends and Family

As your appearance changes, others may not know how to respond. Some friends or family members may cheer you on, offer support, or want to join you in your healthy habits. But others may feel uneasy—especially if your lifestyle changes bring up insecurities or highlight areas where they feel stuck. This can lead to friction, distance, or even subtle forms of sabotage. You may also notice more comments about your body, some of which feel welcome—and others that feel intrusive.

2. Romantic Relationships: A Double-Edged Sword

Weight loss can bring renewed intimacy, shared goals, or a boost in confidence within romantic relationships. However, it can also stir up unexpected challenges. Your partner might feel anxious about the changes in your appearance or the attention you receive from others. They might question whether you're growing apart or changing in ways they can’t keep up with. In some cases, your own shifting identity can lead you to reflect on whether your relationship still fits.

3. Workplace Interactions

In professional settings, weight loss can affect how colleagues perceive you. Some may view your transformation positively, offering encouragement or including you in new opportunities. But others might react with discomfort, envy, or assumptions about your values or abilities. These dynamics can be subtle but emotionally taxing to navigate, especially if you're just trying to focus on your well-being.

Strategies for Navigating Relationship Changes

The emotional and social side of weight loss often requires as much attention as the physical work. Here are some ways to support yourself as your relationships evolve:

Open Communication
Talk openly with friends, family, or your partner about the changes you're experiencing. Acknowledge that things might feel different and create space for honest dialogue—without blame.

Set Boundaries
It's okay to say no to conversations, behaviors, or dynamics that feel harmful or draining. Whether it’s comments about your body, pressure to eat a certain way, or resistance to your new habits, boundaries protect your growth.

Seek Support
Therapists, support groups, and online communities can offer a space to process the complex emotions that come with physical change. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Check In With Yourself
As you move through your journey, keep asking: What do I need emotionally right now? What relationships feel supportive? What patterns am I ready to leave behind?

Weight loss is never just about the body. It's about identity, relationships, boundaries, and emotional growth. Expecting and preparing for shifts in your social and relational world can help you move forward with clarity and compassion—for yourself and for others.

Change often reveals what was hidden—and gives you the chance to rebuild from a stronger foundation. Whether you're gaining confidence, setting boundaries, or reevaluating old patterns, your journey is valid, complex, and deeply personal.

Embrace it with self-awareness, support, and the understanding that transformation often comes with both beauty and challenge.

Why You’re Still Tired After a Vacation: Understanding the Disconnect Between Time Off and True Recovery

You’ve cleared your calendar. You’ve finally taken that long weekend, beach trip, or mountain retreat. But when you return to your daily life, you feel… still tired. Maybe even more exhausted than before.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong.

Many people return from vacation feeling physically rested but emotionally and mentally depleted. That’s because true recovery isn’t just about time off. It’s about how we rest, what we’re recovering from, and the deeper toll that chronic stress takes on our nervous systems.

Time Off Doesn’t Always Equal Restoration

A vacation may provide a temporary break, but if you’re burnt out before you leave, a few days away likely won’t reverse the long-term effects of stress.

Burnout isn’t just about being busy—it’s about being beyond capacity for too long. That includes:

  • Mental exhaustion from decision fatigue, overthinking, and information overload

  • Emotional burnout from caretaking, people-pleasing, or holding everything together

  • Social fatigue from constant connection or performing for others

  • Sensory overwhelm from noise, screens, and nonstop stimulation

When those layers of exhaustion build up, they don’t magically disappear when you sit by a pool for three days. In fact, slowing down might actually make you notice how tired you really are.

So Why Are You Still Tired After Time Off?

Because most vacations don’t target the kind of fatigue you’re carrying.
Yes, a few nights of good sleep help. But when your nervous system has been stuck in overdrive for months (or years), the deeper exhaustion needs more than sleep—it needs repair.

That’s why people often say:

  • “I went away, but I couldn’t relax.”

  • “I kept thinking about everything I need to do when I get back.”

  • “I still feel disconnected and drained.”

You were away from your desk, but not from the pressure. You took time off, but you didn’t have space to actually come down from chronic stress.

What Actually Helps You Recover

The key is to shift from escape-mode rest to integrated rest—small, consistent practices that meet you where you are.

1. Name the kind of tired you feel
Not all exhaustion is physical. Ask yourself: Am I mentally tired? Emotionally overextended? Socially drained? Sensory overloaded? The more specific you are, the better you can respond.

2. Permit imperfect rest
Rest doesn’t have to be Instagram-worthy. Maybe it looks like canceling plans, reading on the couch, turning off notifications, or just not trying so hard. Let rest be simple. Let it be enough.

3. Create space for micro-recovery
Instead of waiting for your next big vacation, build tiny moments of restoration into your everyday life:

  • A five-minute pause between meetings

  • Eating lunch without multitasking

  • Listening to music instead of podcasts

  • Saying no without explanation

These small, intentional breaks signal safety to your nervous system—and over time, they rebuild your baseline.

The Goal Isn’t Just Rest—It’s a Life That Doesn’t Require Constant Escape

If you’re constantly fantasizing about your next vacation, that might be a sign your day-to-day needs adjusting. We shouldn’t need to “earn” our right to feel okay.

A balanced life isn’t one you recover from—it’s one that includes recovery as part of the rhythm. And that means giving yourself permission to pause now, not just when the calendar clears.

If you come back from vacation still feeling tired, it’s not because you failed to relax hard enough. It’s because real rest isn’t just a break—it’s a practice.

The truth is, most of us are not just overworked—we’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, and emotionally overdrawn. Recovery won’t come from one perfect weekend. It comes from consistently meeting yourself with care, honesty, and space.

Your body knows how to heal. Your brain knows how to recharge.
What it needs is permission.

And a little more kindness before, during, and after your time off.


Julie Kolzet, Ph.D.